Make – girl

This poem was written during NaNoWriMo, because one of the challenges I’m currently failing at this year is to write one poem a day. As I said, I am not being quite successful with that or the total word count, but I am pretty enthusiastic about my story this year, and I have already written more than I did the past two years. 🙂

I knitted a sweater
Warm, soft. Pink and blue
With yellow flowers on the front
And matching earrings.

I ordered chunky shoes online
And hemmed a skirt some inches shorter.
It took a while, but I embroidered
Hearts into leg warmers.

I swallowed back harsh words,
I drafted heartfelt apologies.
I bit on her lower lip until it bled
And picked at her rainbow-painted nails.

I brushed her hair,
Cut her hair,
Brushed it again,
And bleached it on a whim.

I loved her and loved her and loved her
Until she stopped believing me.

Out of expectations and grief,
Out of despair and angry tears,
I made a girl.

Small as a mouse,
Bigger than the universe.
Arms always open.

I made a girl
Pretty like a blade,
Cutting like a rose.

I made a girl
Then I took it all back.